He wants to do a budget on all our spendings?

Ivy 08/13/2018. 9 answers
Computers & Internet Software

So I’m 29
Been with bf nearly 4 years, lived together 2.

So he all of a sudden wants to do a budget and keep track of all our everyday spendings, even a $5 drink. He wants us to enter it on an excel spread sheet and update it every time we spend.

I thought it was annoying and can’t be bothered because I don’t...

9 Answers


Smokies Hiker 08/16/2018.

Usually a "budget" comes about when there is a money problem. It can also be used to prevent problems. It could be interesting to keep track of income versus expenses for a few months. If there's more money going out than coming in, and no "rainy day" emergency fund is available, a budget check will let you both know there's a potential problem if an emergency comes up. Things like a doctor visit or an accident can be expensive. Don't take this suggestion too serious if you're serious about being together.


Nosehair 08/14/2018.

MOST people are so totally clueless about money that elementary budgeting steps (like your bf want's to do), seem radical and crazy so they refuse to do it. The reason people are so bad with money is that almost everybody around them is doing really stupid things and that makes it look OK. Example: Most people borrow money to buy cars. That sounds reasonable because "everybody is doing it" but it is totally ridiculous because people have a reasonably good idea, years ahead of time, when they will need a new car - so save up for it! Rather than EARNING a little interest on money saved for a car most people are PAYING a lot of interest on a loan that has lots of other fees as well. Because everybody does it, it's still a bad idea. Your bf is on track and I suggest getting on board.


L 08/14/2018.

If each of you spend "even a $5 drink" each workday for a year, $5 per drink, x 52 weeks per year x 2 of you = $520.

If you want to use that $520 (or something less than that) on something else and it there are other things on which money is spent, possibly frivolously today, then the only way to identify that is by tracking it.

We don't know what your or his income is today. We don't know if you have combined your $ or if it is totally separate. We don't know how often each of you borrows from the other.

We don't know if you or he want to buy a car, a house, take a nice vacation somewhere, have outstanding debt (car, school, other loans) or even how old you and your boyfriend are.

Understanding your spending habits by tracking them is an easy way to know if money is being wasted or used efficiently. Everyone should have a budget - and step 1 is knowing where the income goes.

"But I know where it goes"... if so, then recording that to understand spending habits/trends can be very useful... Another method might be to set up a weekly "allowance" for each of you. My wife and I did this years ago. What's recorded is "allowance". Things we use jointly are not part of the allowance (i.e., gas, utilities, rent/mortgage, insurance, etc.) but things for individual consumption ("$5 beverage", lunch at work, beer after work with friends (not including SO), etc.)" must be managed within the allowance.

Our allowance amounts are not the same - but are reasonable enough to allow each person some flexibility. Base the amount on what is spent today. At the end of the week, if there is money left over, save it for treating yourself to something later. If it all gets spent before the week is over, your stuck - or use that which was saved earlier.

If he is entering his spending data, too, then I would not consider this "controlling". I would consider it "controlling" if he wanted you to enter your data only (and not his).

A little financial discipline now will reap later benefits as you get older.

Propose the "allowance"... another possibility is to propose putting a time limit on this record keeping... perhaps have a review of the recorded spending after 3 months. Both of you may have enough data to either continue or end the tracking.


brayden 08/13/2018.

I did it when I first started out on my own. I did it so I could see how much money I was using for different things so I could see where I was spending excessively. Two things that were important for me: (1) money was tight when I first started out so I wanted to see where I was spending too much money so I could cut back on that particular thing so I would have more money (2) it helped me lean how to budget my money and ultimately how to save money

A lot of people set up budgets. Some do it for the reasons I stated above, some do it because they are specifically saving towards a bigger item (house, car, etc), some don't make much money and need to learn how to manage it.

I don't consider this a big issue. But it can be hard to get used to if you are used to spending your money whenever you see something you like without giving it a second thought, especially if you are just starting out on your own and used to having parents buy everything you want/need. You will adjust to it eventually.


art 08/13/2018.

its called being a control freak, I am an adult, all my friends and family are adults and we have NEVER done anything like this, it looks like he is going to try to control what you spend your money on, get separate bank accounts and then he can do the excel thing with his account and you can just be normal


ignoramus 08/13/2018.

It sounds like going a bit overboard. Budgeting is OK, but some people make it into an obsession, if it includes every last penny. And it could be a means of exerting control over you and your personal expenditure.

Don't know what arrangements you have for pooling income and sharing essential expenditures, but within that you do need to have a certain amount for purely personal needs, which you can spend on a whim if it takes you without having to consider whether it is consistent with "the budget". It should be possible to agree a certain amount for purely personal use (both of you ; not saying it should be equal, but dependent upon circumstances) which can be spent freely without being minutely detailed. Of course, if you exceeded that amount, then it ought to be explained !


DR + Mrs Bears face 08/13/2018.

Hi yes a good idea if you are saving up for a house or flat so you can check your expenditure. other wise you never ever going to do it together.


Blonde 08/13/2018.

It's important to every once in a while to audit household spending. Businesses do it. Adopting cost savings plans requires full, honest, complete accounting of all spending. It's no time to play defense, money has no emotion or feelings, it's only numbers. Some people spend everything they make, always fall short on bills, some people live on a budget, spend less than they make and have nest eggs. Which are you?


tina.k.haggarty 08/13/2018.

I think having a budget is a good idea. If it gets in the way of you treating yourself and getting some necessities then maybe try to loosen it a bit, but budgeting is useful

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