Is it wrong that I take back many of the gifts that my in laws give me?

Amanda 08/21/2017. 11 answers
Society & Culture Etiquette

In my side of the family, no one really gives expensive gifts and no one really gets more creative than a gift card or cash for Christmas and birthdays. This is what I'm used to. My husband's family is quite different. His mom and sister especially tend to give expensive gifts and take pride in trying to...

11 Answers


Pearl L 07/31/2017.

maybe you should tell them so they dont waste their money on it


sheridansheridansheridan 07/31/2017.

Just jump n there and grab the money......so what that choose a gift just for you..Someday your husband will turn on you...he does not have the guts too yet


Mamawisdom 07/31/2017.

You are being rude and childish, but you are also well within your rights to do whatever you want to do with the gifts you are given. It would seem that the first, second, and third things you should do is talk to your in-laws and explain that while you appreciate the thought they give to getting you gifts, you'd much prefer a gift card. You should also speak with your husband about why your behavior embarrasses him and what he would like you to do instead? Either you are wrong about being able to use the gifts you get or your husband has some issues of his own to work through.


Anonymous 07/31/2017.

Yes, it's wrong and you're being rude.


morrowynd 07/31/2017.

You are being rude. Cold, actually. Why not just tell them what you would like and avoid this? Your husband is being affected by it. He may come to resent you over time. It's just not cool. Tell them if they would like to get you something, get a spa day that you can spend with them. Cool, thoughtful gift.


Kiss Me Kate 07/31/2017.

sticky situation---when your hubby begged you to sell him the blender--THAT was wrong of you to ignore. You disregarded his feelings. You are aware that they are really trying to please you-so don't return everything for money-keep some things--or how about just telling everyone not to give you gifts. You don't like them, or enjoy them, you have no regard for people's attempts to please you-so just take yourself out of the running. By returning everything you are basically saying, "You cannot please me-I only care about money-I will not try to spare your feelings-or my husbands. That is bad gift mojo.


█ VULDAM █ 07/31/2017.

wow. the pressure of gift giving is really ineradicable. if you take my stand you don't give gives nor accept them. it will hurt peoples feelings as they are as much as your family stuck into the game called society. i for one never partaked in this exchange unless it was hand mand from the heart. that's my personal take i don't expect you to follow suit.

what this tells you is everyone has their own idea of what gifts mean you can use that to fuel your considerations or you can ignore that. tha'ts your choise and the point that i think was being made by a lot of answeriners

for me i dont' give gifts and i don't receive them it's just as hard to say no thanks to a gift unopened then one opened trust me.

i use the classic i apperciate this gift and the thoughts that went behind it will never be forgotton however i found someoen else who needs said gift verses me wanting said gift.

please know your gift is 100% fully loved and apperciated so much that i have to share it out to those who need it. as i'm carring your gift to new heights ..

new standards

this gift is PERFECT for me however it will help this other person survive i can't in my heart of cards take something that someone else needs.

so your gift brought on more insight to more people than you expected. give yourself a pat on the back!

i don't live my life to others expectations if someone has an issue with what i do with my gift thats really their problem and they can forgo future gifts if they so choise to do so. Hwoever that gift is helping someone sad that it matters who it helps for the gift to be worth anything to the giver..

sounds liek the giver needs some mental help if you ask me!


sheloves_dablues 07/31/2017.

You are correct in that once a gift is given it is the property of the recipient, who may do with it what they wish.

That said, if you return "many" of the gifts you are given, it's sends a very strong signal that you don't appreciate that these are GIFTS, and they were NOT given to you so you could return them for cash.


Pat Wooden 07/31/2017.

You don't seem to think you are doing anything wrong, but you are. Your in laws seem to be putting a lot of thought into getting things they believe you need, and you are figuratively throwing their gifts back in their face. Do you even thank them for the gifts? It doesn't matter that they don't find out or that you have the right to return gifts, what's at stake here is disrespecting all the time and effort they put into getting the gifts. Everyone occasionally returns gifts, but you seem to do it all the time when the gift is from your in laws. That says a lot about your feelings towards them, and your husband has noticed. To you, it's all about the monetary value of things, but it's time to start valuing people's time and effort more than a few dollars.

I got a blender I couldn't fit on the counter, but I found another place in the house to store it. I've gotten upgrades to items I use and didn't think they were necessary until I started using them and found how much better they were. You're not even giving the gifts a chance, which says it's not about the gifts, but your feelings about who gave them.


Jennifer 07/31/2017.

It is common to return gifts you don't need, however it would be good sense to tell them what you would like. Just talk to them and say that in lieu of gifts you would really appreciate a gift card for certain stores for household items that you really need. If they get angry at this, well then it is their problem. Most of the people in my family and my friends were understanding to me and get me gift cards for stores or gift VISA cards for future purchases or emergency purchases.


Anonymous 07/31/2017.

Of course, your husbands feelings should be disregarded. You cannot change the way you were raised and adapt to a different way of doing things. Eventually, your in-laws will wise up, and stop gifting you.


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